Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Real Reason for the Blog Wipe of Everything I See

Well, I'm sure some of you may remember some of the emotional posts on here that have now been taken down in regards to Mr. Shelton.

Most of you were here for that... Interesting little saga on my blog. But I'm only going into this because as a cosmic birthday gift, the diety's have given me time. And you know what? I think all of you have a right to know.

You see, there are two sides to every story. And while I'll admit some fault on my end, I also believe I was quite a bit in the right for my reaction.

Let's wind the clocks back to March, when I was still getting on every day to blog to you people, because I was stupid. Well, I was also finding the time to IM my then-boyfriend Shelton. Things were going pretty smoothly, really. I was a happy, naive little teenager with her first almost-a-boyfriend(I've since decided that he doesn't count). I was keeping myself alive, handling being a runner like any stupid, teenage girl might. But I guess Slender didn't want the authorities on me, so they never came.

Well, there's this interesting little corner of the internet called Facebook. I'm sure more than one of you have dealt with this destroyer of worlds. Well, one night, I got bored. Darby wasn't on, but I wanted to try to learn a little more about him. Why not search him on Facebook, right? So I did, and went through his wall.

I was surprised, and more than a little hurt, to find his relationship status was with his old girlfriend. You know, the one who supposedly cheated on him? "Okay, maybe he just never got around to changing it". It wasn't like we were friends on the site anyway. So, I keep looking, despite the alarm bells in the bak of my head warning me I wasn't going to like what I found.

He got back with the girlfriend on the same day that he formally asked me out. Huh, now didn't that strike me as odd. Well, coupled with the fact that they were still sending messages that indicated they were both still together, I got the hint.

I got upset, and broke up with him. Being conflicted, I was my usual indecisive self and then tried to immediately thereafter make things right. Naive, please don't forget that as you read.

When he tried to explain himself, I wasn't really terribly open minded. Looking back, I can't blame myself. What I read had been a good hard slap in the face. Him trying to explain that he loved us both seemed ridiculous at first, just because of what he did to her. Looking back, I can understand that a little more, but still. He was dating her still, or at least that certainly how it looked, while he was dating me. Have any of you ever heard the term "cheating" in relation to relationships.

It wasn't fair. Not to me, and certainly not to Mr. Shelton's other girlfriend. So that is why I now believe that I was justified in my actions.

So here's my explanation for Shelton's most recent death. He was trying to get away from -me-. And instead of acting like a man, and telling me to get away from his blog, or even at least giving an honest last post, he faked his own death and let Vexil along with every single other blogger look like the bad guy.

There, that's the real reason for the blog wipe. That is why I got so upset that I deleted the complete history of Everything I See. That's why you can't go back and read my other posts. Because I got emotional and acted rashly, like any human might.

Just because we're running, doesn't mean that we loose the right to that. And I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I am some hero like Zeke Strahm. I don't think I have, because that just isn't me. I guess that just makes me pretty boring, huh?

I know it's late for me to post this now. But Shelton has made yet another miraculous return from the dead, and has admitted he owes an explanation. Not just to me, but to everyone here on the blogs. On his own post, I have commented that it had better be a damn good one. We'll see if it turns out to be some chivalrous hero story to mostly dead air. Or maybe it will be something honest that gains him a bit more respect from at least my side of the story.

I will give him some credit, though. After what, 2 months now? He contacted me and gave me an apology last night. And as I've said many times before, and as I said last night, I forgive him. Perhaps not entirely, and trusting him would be damn near impossible, but forgiveness I can do.

You know, it really hurt when it all happened. And when it did, I was plunging right into a period of time where I could have used every ounce of help I could get from people who were moderately sane. Now, at the still quite young age of 16, I am at least grateful for the heartbreak. One shouldn't take bad things for granted. Daddy did always tell me to learn from my... Well, I don't want to say mistake. Bad choice. So, I learned, the hard way.

Young love is stupid anyway ;P

And you know what? For the first time, I can really look back at something and admit that I'm not sorry for how I acted. And hindsight is 20/20. So I guess that is always a positive.


  1. Well hey, at least you weren't toyed with for a long while. This will be easier to get over than you think. Sorry kiddo.

  2. Thanks, Isaak. It has, over time.